Claire Alexander.

Claire Alexander is not actually a comedian at all and is only here to flirt with your dad. Hailing from the wealthy state of Connecticut she is, for lack of a better word, a complete gold digger, only creating a career as a comic in NYC to appear as though she is “not like other girls” and to get better pictures for her tinder bio. She has opened many bottles of Sam Adams, and opened the door of the restaurant she works in for Diane Keaton. Follow her on Instagram @clairebearpears and in real life when she’s riding on the Q train because it’ll totally flatter her.